Today I Mourn the Loss of a Pet

Today was an experience I have never experienced before.  It was an experience I wish I had never experienced for that matter...  My beagle of almost 12 years had to be euthanized. )':

Benny was my first dog and definitely the best.  Although he had gotten older he still kept his puppy spirits with him.  This whole thing happened so sudden and unexpectedly that my family and I were emotionally unprepared for the vets to suggest we put him to sleep.  We had thought perhaps he had caught the flu?  Apparently dogs do not get the flu but it was something more serious and more painful than what Benny was allowing us to see.  I don't want to get into the details because I don't want anyone to cry as much as I am crying just thinking about it right now but... Between 12-1am we had made the unanimous decision to bring him to the Emergency Care clinic and let him rest in peace eternally.

After Benny had passed, I was emotionally and physically spent but felt as if going home and falling asleep would be inconsiderate and rude.  Like I was moving on with my life and brushing off this tragic event less than an hour after it had taken place.  I had no idea what to do and how to feel.

Today, I tried to think less about it.  That's just my way with coping but of course I cried every few hours.  It's a hard adjustment to make when he was included in much of your day.

The things that I will miss:

> Waking up every morning and tucking him in in his blanket on the couch.
> Having to shoo him away while loading the dishwasher when he'd rather BE the dishwasher.
> Picking up our kitchen towel from under the table because he had pulled it off the oven to lick it.
> Opening up the back door to check on him when he hasn't come in after 20 minutes only to see him in the garden eating all our vegetables.
> Pulling him around the carpet on tummy by a toy because it feels good on his belly.
> Having him burrow under the blanket and lay next to me to keep warm.
> Chasing him around the neighborhood for an hour whenever he got a chance at freedom.
> Having to chase him up and down the backyard with a hose just to bath him.
> Opening the fridge for him when he scratched at it because there was left over chicken in there that he wanted to snack on.
> Walking in the door after a long day at work and him always being the first to greet me.

<3 RIP Benny <3